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Imagine you had a woke lunatic living in your attic.
Someone who contributed nothing to the household — beyond barking politically correct slogans — and yet expected full bed and board.
You might hear him or her (or “them”) stomping around late at night, yelling “Trans women are women!” or “Defund the police!”
And the next morning they’d be down with their hand out, expecting breakfast and pocket money.
A nightmare, right? Well, I increasingly think that’s what it would be like if Canada really were to become America’s 51st state.
It would be like having an overgrown teenager skulking around at the top of this mighty republic, draining your resources, causing you embarrassment and poisoning your body politic with PC crap.
We hear a lot about the Canadian resistance to the idea of their leafy nation being strong-armed into a Greater America.
I think we need to hear more resistance from within the US itself — especially from Republicans.
Seriously, guys, this vast 51st state with its 41 million people would be a royal pain in your neck, electorally and economically.
President Trump upped the ante on the Canada question this week.
He said if Canada were to become “our cherished Fifty First State,” then all the tough tariffs he’s imposed on its imports would “totally disappear.”
I enjoy the president’s ribbing of Canada as much as the next person. I had a chuckle when he referred to Justin Trudeau as “Governor Trudeau.” I look forward to him teasing the new Canadian PM, Mark Carney, in the same vein.
But don’t do it, Mr. President. Stop flirting with this infamously loony-left nation.
This is a people who voted Trudeau into power, a politician who’s such a wet leftoid he says “peoplekind” instead of mankind, wears “Eid Mubarak” socks, and behaves like an overexcited schoolgirl on TV shows like “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
Who do you think the voters of this 51st state would put into the White House? Yep, the Dems.
I have a cautionary tale for the Trumpists eyeing Canada.
Here in the United Kingdom we have a “Canada situation” — it’s called Scotland.
I love Scotland. Beautiful country, good people.
But politically? Politically, it’s a woke carbuncle on our kingdom.
It’s like a boil of batty ideas that often drains the life force, not to mention the coffers, of our fine island.
It’s fitting that, like Canada, Scotland is at the head of our nation, because it’s the source of many a political and financial headache.
The UK — well, England — props up Scotland’s economy.
The Scots economy is in a bad way. Scotland is currently running a national deficit of 10.4% of GDP, which is more than double the deficit of the UK as a whole: 4.5% of GDP.
To keep Scotland afloat, we have to pump cash into it. Get this: people in Scotland receive £2,417 more in public spending, per head, than the UK average.
Those massive handouts come from the far more productive part of the kingdom — England.
In essence, Scotland is our welfare queen. The 57 million of us who live in England are carrying on our shoulders 5.5 million Scots — it’s our taxes that line their pockets and protect them from economic ruin.
It isn’t hard to envision the 51st state of Canada likewise leeching off the rest of America.
America’s GDP dwarfs Canada’s — who do you think will pick up the bill if the brown stuff hits the fan?
I doubt New Yorkers or people from Los Angeles will be content to subsidize a nation that has long had a tendency to look down its nose at America and its people.
And what do we get from Scotland in return for our help? The electoral equivalent of the finger.
For the past 18 years Scottish politics has been dominated by the Scottish National Party. They rule the roost in the devolved legislature of the Scottish Parliament.
And how can I put this? The SNP is without question one of the loopiest, wokest political parties in all of Europe.
Imagine Justin Trudeau in a Pride-colored kilt slugging a malt whiskey — that’s the SNP.
They’re the fly in the soup of our kingdom’s politics.
They fought tooth and nail to block Brexit, which was voted for by 17.4 million Brits, the largest electoral bloc in the entire history of the United Kingdom.
They have turned Scotland into a laboratory for lefty authoritarianism. Forget “Scotland the Brave” — under the SNP it’s more like “Scotland the Brave New World.”
Scotland has become a world leader in censorship. The SNP has passed laws that forbid the singing of “offensive” songs at football matches. People have literally been jailed for singing rude ditties at sports events.
The SNP has drafted some of Europe’s most insane hate-speech laws. At one point it even considered making it a crime to “stir up hatred” in a private dwelling.
Your outspoken uncle pops over for dinner and says “Trans women are not women”? Call the cops!
The SNP’s leaders have well and truly guzzled the Kool-Aid of wokeness.
In 2023, the then First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, put a double rapist in a women’s prison because he “identifies” as a woman.
Many people will have seen the clip of the SNP’s Humza Yousaf moaning about how many “whites” there are in positions of power in Scotland.
Maybe that’s because 95% of Scots are white? Just spitballing here, Humza.
This party of woke tyrants with its race-baiting and trans lunacy has a warping effect on UK politics.
It means that whoever Brits vote into power, whether it’s the Conservatives or Labour, there is always this gaggle of turbo-smug sneerers up north seeking to disrupt our democracy with divisive ideologies.
That would be Canada for you guys.
It, too, is a hyper-woke nation with a fondness for censoring “wrongthink.”
It’s a nation performatively ashamed of its history — it has an annual National Sorry Day, for heaven’s sake.
It’s a nation where preening woke blowhards like Trudeau can get into power, and a nation that is economically way behind the USA.
Do you really want it to be the 51st state? It would be a total drag on the project of moral and economic renewal Trump has kick-started.
Save America. Forget Canada.
Brendan O’Neill is chief political writer for the British online magazine spiked.
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