Divorced Virgin, 42, Wants Someone to ‘Manhandle Me’

A divorced virgin is getting candid about her sexual fantasies on the new TLC series, Virgins.

On the June 9 premiere of the series — which follows four virgins in their 30s to 40s as they go on a journey of love, intimacy and self discovery in hopes of getting deflowered — Rhasha, 42, pulled back the curtain on her bedroom desires.

“Yes, you heard that right, 42 and Big Purr never seen any action and we got to fix that,” she admitted, before adding in a confessional, “I refer to my private part as Big Purr. I just don’t feel comfortable saying the P word.”

“I am wanting to lose my virginity to someone special and I’m trying to find that person,” she added. “I am kind of awkward because I don’t know what I am doing, but I do not want to be in my 80s and not having been cracked open.”

To achieve her desires, Rhasha decided it was time to try sex therapy. Dr. Tyrenia Cross, a sex therapist, asked her “deepest fantasies” and she revealed exactly what she wanted.

“I am in a bedroom with white sheets, and it’s like, I’m tied with my hands behind my back,” she shared during the exercise. “I have a blindfold on it.”

She then admitted that she is “a submissive person” and wants a “dominant” partner who will “manhandle me.” 

“I need to get tied up, I need to get spanked. It’s steamy, it’s stank. Sorry mom,” she added with a laugh.

When asked where her fantasies come from, she shared, “I’ve watched a lot of porn and when I explore myself, I imagine those things happening.”

Rhasha referred to herself as “a late bloomer.” She added, “I wasn’t attracted to guys or seen them sexually ‘till I was in my mid 20s. I think it was just being overweight and not having confidence in myself.”

During therapy, Rhasha admitted she was married before, but added the experience was a “debacle.” 

“Yes, I was married previously for 10 months,” she told cameras. “I am a divorced virgin and that is the truth.” 

She then detailed her relationship with ex-husband and how the relationship fell apart.

“He was an international student from South Korea, but he was living in Minnesota at the time. We met on a dating app online and we matched,” she recalled. “We were in touch for about four to five years, just texting and messaging, but he was so sweet and made me laugh. So when he told me that he didn’t want to go back to his home country, I didn’t want him to either. So I wanted to help him because I thought I was in love with him and I believe that maybe he could love me too.”

She added that she quickly learned that her ex-husband had “different motives” as they slept separately and he “wasn’t really interested” in her, but rather more focused on “looking for a green card.”

“That marriage was not ever consummated ever…[I] showed a little something,” Rhasha said as she broke down in tears. “He just looked at me with so much disgust and I was just like, maybe I’m just fat and ugly and that just made me feel even more bad.” 

She now hopes to find someone who she feels “safe with, to unleash the w—- in me. That’s what I want to find.”

Elsewhere in the episode, Sonali, 37, was navigating her own desires after growing up in “a very strict, traditional household.” Due to her upbringing, she noted, “I have never watched porn or erotica. I’ve never even tried to masturbate. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I’ve never had an orgasm — at least I don’t think so.”

Sonali revealed that there was more than one reason why she had remained a virgin, however. She told cameras, “I’m still a virgin at 37. Not just because I haven’t met the right guy yet, but also because I do believe there’s also a physical barrier. To this day, I have not inserted anything in my vagina.”

“There really feels like there’s something blocking the opening to my vagina,” she later added, before sharing that she had an appointment with a pelvic floor therapist.

During the appointment with pelvic floor therapist Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, Sonali revealed that she has never tried to insert a tampon, never attempted intercourse and was unable to have a pap smear completed due to pain.

After experiencing discomfort during the physical exam, Sonali admitted, “If fingers are this intense, I can’t imagine what pain I would experience with a man.”

She later added, “I’m downright afraid and fearful that Doctor Heather is going to say to me I have some sort of physical ailment that will prevent me from having sexual intercourse.” Her fears only rose when the doctor showed her a medical dilator as the episode concluded.

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Virgins airs Mondays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on TLC.